Unbearable Pain
by indiefaggot
Summary: What would happen if Bella was turned into a vampire in twilight by James? And what if some other changes took place. Ends on a little cliff hanger now complete. AN: I AM NO LONGER A FAN, that is why I haven't continued. I'd only end up killing bella.
1. Unbearable Pain

**Unbearable Pain**

James has just bitten Bella's hand and now Edward has to choose whether to let the venom spread, he decided to turn her into a vampire. What would the story be like after that?

By some seriously obsessed with twilight fans. PLEASE READ! And tell us what you think.

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**(3 days later)**

"Edward, she's waking up!" Alice said urgently but no louder than a whisper. The venom was starting to wear off. The only sound I could hear was the cars on the freeway.

"Bella?" He whispered and for a moment I wondered if he really said it. I scanned my memory for anything that was significant. I remembered James and then pain. Lots of pain.

"Bella can you hear me? You're home. And safe," He said, his voice still like velvet but somehow strained.

My eyes fluttered open. The desire to see his face was uncontrollable.

"Edward," I managed in an unfamiliar tone. It was then I felt his hand on mine, but not how I remembered it. It was lighter. "Edward… What happened?"

My eyes refocused on the deep purple circles under his eyes. They were darker than I had ever seen. I caught my breath, "Edward, what happened?" My strange voice was more demanding this time. I pulled myself up to see him better but all my limbs were stiff yet exhausted. Surprisingly, everything responded including my right leg. Something was different. I was different.

"Bella…" he paused. "Bella, do you remember… anything?"

I thought for a second. There was brick wall in my mind blocking anything before the pain and even that was blurred.

"James..." I felt a snarl ripped through my teeth. My hand automatically snapped up to my mouth and covered it. A memory so blurry it felt like a dream resurfaced.

"Bella," He said the pain showing in his voice, "Bella I'm so sorry, James…" He trailed off as another memory of mine returned. I remembered James… he turned me into a vampire. I cringed away from his name as if he was in the room.

"Bella, I shouldn't of let the venom spread but I knew that if I started to suck the venom out I'd end up…" He swallowed, "Killing you and call me selfish but I need you in my life Bella."

"I'm a… vampire," I whispered. I looked deep into his eyes they were dark. He was so thirsty. "Edward you should hunt." I sighed the idea of him leaving me hurting me already.

"I've just told you that you're a vampire because of me and you don't hate me or angry at me. Bella, you can't get older. This is it. 17 forever." He studied my eyes.

"That's the thing Edward." I paused studying his eyes too. "I love you and I know that you won't love me as much as you did when I was human, but I want to be with you. Do you still want to be with me? Do you still love me?" Panic should have shaken my voice but my perfectly smooth voice didn't change. It sounded stupid to be talking to him about how much he loved me. He had reassured me so many times of that fact, but I could never find a reason why he loved me.

He waited, studying my face as he spoke to make sure I was really listening.

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars-points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you left with Alice, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." He stroked my face with the back of his hand but kept his eyes locked on mine. "I love you Isabella Marie Swan."

I smiled slightly. The reassurance that he loved me played over in my head a few times.

"What are we going to do now?" I asked staring back into Edward's eyes.


	2. Charlie

**Chapter 2- Charlie**

Three days later. Bella decides to tell Charlie that she is moving in with Edward. She starts her knew life with Edward.

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The sweet soft music filled the room, Edwards hand lingered softly on the keys. My lullaby. As soon as the music stopped he stared down at me.

"Ready to see Charlie?" He asked slowly looking deep into my eyes.

"Yes," I said determined.

We ran side by side to the Volvo that was parked neatly outside the Cullen's home. It would be my new home soon. It roared to life not as loudly as my truck would have done but we agreed to let Charlie believe that the truck had broken down on the way back to Forks. Edward drove just over the speed limit all the way to Charlie's house.

"Edward? What is he doing here?" Charlie had asked from inside the house when we pulled up. He didn't sound too happy. I paused to remind myself to breath, before opening the door slowly.

As if mirroring the car door, the front door of Charlie's house swung open. I stepped out. Charlie stood on the porch as if defending his territory until his eyes locked on the new Bella Swan.

"Bella?" He questioned. "Bella what happened?"

"I went to Phoenix to prove that I could look after myself. Edward came with his dad to talk me back to coming back to Forks. I missed you too much, dad" A fake smile spread across my face as I repeated what Edward had told me to say previously that morning. "I'm sorry I left."

"You're different Bella." He stated. "You look different."

"I know." I replied in a soothing tone, I glanced at Edward, he smiled.

"Can we come in?" I asked.

"Of course, Bella." He said in a formal tone, as he ushered us into the door, I caught the smell that Edward had warned me about. It burned my throat even though I had hunted. It sent a pleasant feeling down my spine but pierced my heart at the same tone. I would never hurt Charlie. I vowed that as Edward grabbed my hand, as if reading my thoughts.

"Charlie, Bella and I would like to move in together. I mean move in with us. My family." Edward announced politely in the living room. The flat screen glinted behind Charlie.

Charlie stood up to speak.

"Do you think that I would let you do that after what happened a week ago? What makes you think she will not leave again?" Charlie demanded his eyes were raged and angry.

"Dad," I argued but then cooled my tone. "I love him, dad."

Charlie looked startled by my outburst but carried on angrily.

"That's what me and your mum thought but things change…"

"Don't compare us to you." I interrupted angrily, "I know I love him more than anything in this world and he loves me." I turned to look at Edward who was sitting on the sofa looking concerned.

"If you believe that you can stay together then move in with the Cullens but don't expect me to watch your life fall apart." Charlie said softly but it was clearly a dismissal. Edward ignored this.

"Thank you Chief Swan. Bella and I will collect up her belongings now."

Charlie looked at me. His expression pained but still cold. I knew he would never trust me ever again. He was refusing to be in my new life. Edward took me by the hand and pulled me gently into the hallway and up to pack.

When I rushed back down the stairs I looked back at my old life with Charlie and looked out the front door to my new life with Edward. Where I would be eternally happy.


	3. Vision

Chapter 3- Vision

Starts with Alice's POV. She has a vision that the Cullens haven't properly killed James. And now James wants revenge. Carlisle and Edward leave for phoenix, to clean up the mess they made.

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APOV

*Vision*

The sun shone down through the trees, leaving patch marks on the grass. Bella stood nervously by an old oak tree; her shadow marked an outline into the perfect sunshine.

"Hello, Bella." An Unforgettable voice said from behind, his shadow now crossed hers.

"James." She snarled, turning to face him.

He cupped her face. "I like the new improved Bella." He smiled confidently. I didn't like the smile on his face. She wasn't something to eat anymore, so why was he looking at her like that now. James brushed a strand of her chestnut hair behind her ear. To my surprise she didn't flinch away from his touch. She took one step towards him. Was this real? I asked myself or was I just imagining things?

Her eyes locked on his. Her arm wrapped around his waist. A larger smile appeared on James' face as slowly one appeared on Bella's. I wanted to rip them away from each other to scream and shout at James. It didn't seem real like James was controlling her. Bella's in love with Edward not James.

She leaned in closer to him. James closed the gap between them completely. How could she do this to Edward? I could already see where this was going. So it didn't surprise me when James kissed Bella. Bella reacted in the same way and kissed him back.

*End of Vision*

I had to keep that from happening and I needed to keep it a secret from Edward too.


	4. Bella, I have to go

Chapter 4- Bella, I have to go.

EPOV- Alice is trying to keep the vision away from Edward, but tells him about phoenix.

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**EPOV**

**(**_**Slanted writing means thoughts**_**)**

_Uno, Dos, Tres, Cuatro, Cinco, Seis… _Alice counted. I knew she was trying to keep her vision secret but why?

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked out loud.

"Nothing Edward." She answered quickly. "I'm just… bored." Bella glanced at me nervously. I looked at her in the same way and she squeezed my hand harder. It hurt. She was so oblivious to how strong she was.

"Okay, I had a vision." Alice said, quietly.

"What was it?" Bella asked fiercely.

"James isn't dead yet." She hunched her shoulders up as if to shield herself from Bella.

"What!" She snarled.

"Bella." I soothed. She sat down beside me fury still tainted her usually perfect eyes. "Explain Alice."

**APOV**

"Explain Alice." Edward said calmly.

"James put himself back together and was coming after you." I lied. "You need to stop him Edward."

"You have to Edward, I'll get Carlisle." Esme Interrupted when she entered the room.

Bella's eyes stared through me like I wasn't there. I wished I wasn't she looked at Edward and then back to me and started sobbing. She couldn't properly cry but I knew she would if she could.

**BPOV**

This wasn't happening. It wasn't real. But it was real. Alice hadn't been wrong yet. I could remember the look on Alice's face when she had heard James, Laurent and Victoria coming. That was when this whole thing started. James was the one who ripped my life apart. But he was the one who gave me my forever with Edward too.

"Bella?" Esme asked. I stopped thinking for a moment.

"Yes." I replied looking up to her.

"Edward and Carlisle are going there to sort out James. Okay?" She wasn't asking me she was telling me, but I answered anyway.

"Okay."

"I won't be long Bella." Edward said coming back from the parked car outside the house. "I promise. I won't let him ruin our forever."

"Be careful." I said quickly. He simply laughed and kissed me.

When he left, I went straight up to Edward's room. Our room. I put on the same CD that I had heard my first day at the Cullen's, and stood staring out of the window. And that was where I was going to stay till he returned, I vowed.

I stood there for three days, but eventually even a vampire gets bored of the same place. I felt the burning in my throat was wilder than when I'd first hunted. With Edward. I sobbed quietly for a few more hours, but I needed to hunt.


	5. Bad

Chapter 5- Bad

All vampires aren't as good as the Cullen's. But is Bella as good as a Cullen.

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"Bella?" Alice whispered, as she entered his room. "Bella, you need to hunt." I didn't answer her I just stared into the glass where my reflection outlined my black eyes.

"I'll come with you." Esme said floating up the stairs.

"Me too." Alice added.

"No, I need to hunt alone." I said keeping my eyes focused on the glass. "As practice." I didn't need to hear their answer. I ran to the open window and landed on the grass below, I ran into the shade of the trees. I ran, not tracing anything for a while. I kept on running for hours.

Until I reached the outskirts of Seattle. I smelt the blood running through each person's veins. I heard the cars and voices too but I focused on being a vampire. A real, uncontrollable vampire. I walked the busy streets, ignoring the aroma of the people surrounding me.

It was getting dark, the sun was setting and people filed into nightclubs, bars and pubs. I found myself walking into a bar. The luminous sign on the door read 'The Dark'. I wasn't thinking about my actions. Human blood teased my senses, and I followed them. A man in his twenties sat at a barstool. He was well dressed, young and good-looking. A bottle of cider touched his lips regularly.

"Hi, I'm Sarah." I introduced myself with a fake name.

"Andrew." He nodded. " My… mutual friends call me Andy." He replied staring me up and down smiling.

"Well Andy, I'm getting a bit claustrophobic, why don't we go back to yours?" I smiled flirtatiously.

"Sure!"

I pulled him by the hand outside into the parking lot. He pulled a set of keys out of his Jean's pocket and pressed a button. The car he unlocked was a type of Ferrari. The type of car Edward would buy. His name pained me for a moment. I vowed that he would never find out. His heart raced faster, he pulled me into the car and walked around the outside of the sports car and into the driver's seat.

He started to kiss me. I pushed him away. I understood the restraint now.

"Wait." I said in the same flirtatious tone. "Drive up to the woods there and um… well."

"Okay." He said starting the car. He followed my orders. I still didn't think, I let the smell of his blood run through me. I tugged his shirt towards me and kissed him passionately before leaving the car. He followed me into the forest. He pushed me onto on old oak tree. To kiss me again. His blood was sweeter than before. I wasn't going to have enough strength to keep him alive much longer.

I let his hands wander over my shirt and undo buttons, while I kissed him back. The wind blew me his scent and I pulled away from him. I looked into his eyes and sunk my teeth into his neck.


	6. Guilt

Chapter 6- Guilt

Bella is feeling guilty about what happened in Seattle.

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What had I just done? I was stupid and foolish. I had killed someone. Edward was right. A newborn vampire can't contain her thirst for human blood. I was living proof of that.

I approached the Cullen's house. I could hear Jasper, Alice and Esme inside talking. About me.

"Where is she?" Alice panicked. I sped up to stop them worrying.

"Look she's safe." Jasper soothed Alice as I came through the glass doors.

"I'm sorry I took so long." I fake-smiled. "I was easier to find elk with Edward."

"It's okay Bella." Esme smiled. "We were just worried."

I started to calm down but I guessed that had something to do with Jasper. I returned to Edward's room again. Not surprisingly the calm I had felt downstairs washed off, when I got upstairs. I returned to staring out of the same window I looked out of this morning. When I wasn't a murderer.

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This is a very short chapter but it's just setting up for the next one.


	7. A Kiss

Chapter 7- A Kiss

Edward rings with bad news. Will Alice's vision become reality?

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The phone buzzed to life, I ran to pick it up. I had missed him so much in the fourteen days he had been away.

"Edward?" I asked quickly.

"Bella, James has already left Phoenix." He sounded like he was sobbing, the pain showed in his voice. "You need to go somewhere with Alice, the tracker might already be around Forks. Stay somewhere open, where he can't attack you or find you."

"No Edward. We need to kill him once and for all." I said calmly even though a snarl was close to ripping through my teeth.

"Not yet. I've called Emmett and Rosalie they're on their way back to Forks. They're there to protect you not to help fight with you."

"He will never get past me. I'm newborn I can kill him." A snarl escaped.

"Please don't." He pleaded. "I love you." He hung up.

I stood there for a minute before I realised what I needed to do. I needed to find James. And kill him. Alice, Esme and Jasper had gone out earlier that morning to hunt. I grabbed some of my clothes from the wardrobe and ran. I knew where I was running. I draped clothes on the branches of trees on my way. James would follow my scent.

The sun shone down through the trees, leaving patch marks on the grass. I stood nervously by an old oak tree; my shadow marked an outline into the perfect sunshine. This was our meadow. I could kill James and everything would be ok. I hoped.

"Hello, Bella," An unforgettable voice said from behind, his shadow crossed mine.

"James," I snarled turning to face him. His face had changed. It was soft and gentle. He wasn't crouching to kill me he just stood there looking at me. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, and rested his hand on my cheek and cupped my face. "I like the new, improved Bella." He smiled confidently. I looked down at his hands but did not flinch away from them, as I would have a month ago. I looked up to his lips that were set in a confident smile. I looked up to his golden eyes.

They drew me in somehow. I found myself taking a step forward. I put my arm around his waist. He smile grew wider. I leaned in closer to him. He leaned in too. I find myself smiling as my lips met his.

This kiss was like a roller coaster. He kissed me softly at first his tongue traced my lips but suddenly his passion kicked in. Adrenaline acted as the drug that kept us together for so long. I didn't think. His hands tangled into my hair. I pulled him closer to me. No one not even Edward had kissed me like that.

He was the one to pull away. I didn't open my eyes. I wanted the kiss to last forever. It was if I had been dreaming. If I opened my eyes he would be gone. I felt his hands grab my waist and pull me into him again. The next kiss didn't last as long but was just as passionate. When we pulled away he held me in his arms and stroked my hair.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He whispered. Shock ran through my body. I stood back from him. He grabbed my hand and held it in both of his. "I shouldn't have turned you into a vampire like that."

"What?" I whispered. It was confusing, why was James apologising?

"When I first met you, I wanted to kill you." He paused. "Now I want to spend my entire life with you."


	8. Confession

Chapter 8- Confession

Alice has to tell Edward about her vision. What will Edward feel and to tell Edward about her vision. What will Edward feel and do???

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**(Meanwhile)**

**EPOV**

Carlisle wasn't driving fast enough. We needed to get back home, to protect Bella from James and from herself.

"Let me drive, Carlisle." I said as calmly as I could manage.

"No Edward. If we drive any faster we'll blow the engine. Again." He replied. I remembered the crap BMW we stole from the airport that we now were driving home to forks.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I knew before I looked at it, it would be Alice. "Hi, Alice." I said.

"Edward, I need to tell you something." She said guiltily.

"Alice!" I snarled, "What is it?" Carlisle looked at me nervously.

"The vision I had…"

"Yes?"

"I didn't tell you all of it…" She explained her vision

"Alice you should have told me this earlier!" Edward shouted after I had finished explaining. "That's it I'm going to find her."

"Wait Edward, how fast are you driving?"

**APOV**

A vision I had, had earlier resurfaced in my mind.

"Oh crap!" Edward cursed, "Alice the engine blew again. That's it I'm running."

He hung up the phone.

I thought back through my vision from 2 weeks ago. Unexpected a new vision appeared.

*Vision*

"When I first met you, I wanted to kill you." James paused. "Now I want to spend my entire life with you."

* End of Vision*

Oh my god. I thought nervously.

**EPOV**

"Help me, Carlisle." I said anxiously after the car had broken down. "Bella has left the house." It was better to lie to Carlisle about them kissing. I was trying to keep that from myself. The knot in my stomach tightened. This wasn't happening to me. I wouldn't let it happen.


	9. Explanations

**Chapter 9- Explanations**

Bella is very, very, very confused, but what will Edward do???

(Thanks for reviewing but please keep on telling me what you think!)

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**EPOV**

I ran so fast it made my head spin. I wanted to break down and sob into the forest floor. I had to protect Bella but how was I going to protect myself from the truth. My head swam. Memories of us together soothed me. But memories of life before her made my cold heart ache.

A familiar scent burned my nose. James… I couldn't hear him. But I knew where he would be. I'm too late.

**BPOV**

**(The Meadow)**

"Explain." I demanded breathlessly. None of this was making sense. What was he saying? "You wanted to kill me. You didn't want me around…" I started to babble. I knew that anything that came out of my mouth wouldn't make sense. Even to a vampire.

James ignored my nonsense, and stepped forward once again to kiss me. And once again, I got lost in the moment and kissed him back.

"Bella I…" He started, but he seemed distracted as he looked over my shoulder. He started to smile.

"Am about to die." He finished James' sentence. His voice, that once sounded like a symphony floated through the air. I span around to see the pained expression on his face.

**EPOV**

Bella spun round with an apologetic look on her face. How could I ever be mad at her?

_Edward you're too late. _His thoughts teased me and remembered the kiss. In detail. _She does have the softest lips. You shouldn't have taken that for granted._

I prepared to attack James.

"No Edward!" She shouted but bit her lip quickly. She was confused. I knew that much.

I flashed a quick glance in James' direction. Her smirk grew from ear to ear. He wasn't really in love with her. He was using her to get to me. She was oblivious. I couldn't hurt him without hurting her. And she would never believe me if I told her the truth now.

I had decision to make.


	10. Decision

Chapter 10- Decision

I'm not going to give it away. R &R

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JPOV

I stared back at Edward. He glared at me. My stubborn bait, stood there waiting for us to say something. She looked nervously at me and back at Edward. This made me smile more as I teased Edward again.

_She's trying to choose Edward. Me or You. I've already given her everything she ever wanted. And you know that._ I smiled as Edward snarled in response. It wasn't going to before he lost his patience and attacked me. _I wonder whose side she'll fight for. Ha. At least she'll have a few minutes with me before I kill her. Or turn her in to the volturi._

BPOV

They stared at each other.

"Bella step away." Edward growled. Anger washed through me. I felt my hands curl into fists.

"No Edward." I said taking a step toward James. Surprise and confusion washed over Edward's face before his expression settled into one I knew well. Pain and hurt. How could I hurt him? I took two steps in Edward's direction. A small smile grew on his face but it didn't touch his eyes.

I mouthed 'I'm sorry' at James. All was silent again and I knew I was missing something.

JPOV

_Come on Edward, what are you going to do? _I teased. _Places to be, Newborns to kill come on. Do your worst. _We stood silent again. I wished I could see into his mind now. That would be entertaining. The hurt and pain he felt now would make me laugh.

_What are you thinking now? About me and her. Or maybe about me killing you both._

This set him off.

EPOV

I knew what I had to do, and it revolved around James' death. I could sooth Bella and tell her the truth later.

I pounced on James and knocked him to the ground. I heard Bella's screams but they were muffled by another thought of James',

_It's not the first time Bella's cheated on you in the last two weeks._ This made me stop and listen. _She's not what I would call a strict vegetarian either._

I stopped fighting him and looked up at her. Time seemed to pause. Her chestnut hair blew in the breeze. Her body cringed away from our fighting. She had covered her eyes with her hands. She looked more like a newborn now. Her eyes were a faded red, she was more beautiful than anything and she was a cold blooded killer. Her most repulsive feature. My eyes turned away from her in disgust and I lashed out at James.

BPOV

"No." I screeched "Please don't." They didn't listen to me. I could have been somewhere else and they wouldn't have noticed. I prayed that Alice would see this and come running. Or maybe Edward would win and she wouldn't.

I needed her. I needed Charlie. I needed Renee. I needed Jacob. I wanted them to tell me everything would be ok and they would both live. But I knew one of them had to die. So I turned my focus back to the vampire's that were trying to kill each other. Over me.


	11. All the Fighting

Chapter 11- all the fighting

The Cullens are coming! The Cullens are coming! R & R!

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APOV

I concentrated hard on Bella's future. I concentrated on Edward's but nothing had changed they were still going to be together. What had I missed? Then I remembered that place. The beautiful sunshine and perfect trees reminded me of one place in the entire world. The Meadow.

"Jasper." I whispered breathlessly, "I know where they are."

"Carlisle." Jasper shouted, standing up quickly and pulling me up too. "She knows where they are."

The next thing I knew the trees whirled by me and I was running to save the person that had cheated on my brother.

EPOV

It wasn't the time to think things through. Carlisle would have restrained me if he were here. I still heard Bella's screams but they sounded more like a whisper to me as I started to tear James apart. He fought me back hard scratching and biting me but he had one advantage. He could tease me.

_My lips against hers, his lips against hers. _He tormented. This made me more frustrated even though pain rushed through me as well. _Bella… Bella…Bella…Bella…Bella._

He wrestled his hands free and pushed me away forcefully. I landed on the ground next to a tree and fell back against it. He could kill me if he wanted to. All fighting spirit was gone. I would die here. Maybe Emmett and the others would save her. My Bella. I could never forgive her for betraying me but hurting her would be even more painful. My only hope was to die and have her face no more rejection.

James stared at me and back to Bella. Her screams had become vague and far off. James turned and faced me. Disappointment washed over his features. He was looking for a fight not a surrender. Yet this didn't deter him. He walked slowly at a human's pace over to were I was slumped next to the tree. He lowered down to my level and leaned his head to one side.

"Giving up?" He teased out loud. He picked up my left arm and twisted it. He was making me feel pain not quite killing me but hurting me. My face screwed up but I made no attempt to shout in pain. I closed my eyes ready to be killed.

A thud on the ground made me realise I was no longer being attacked. I opened one eye carefully. Emmett had thrown James onto his back. Jasper ripped him to pieces in minutes pulling his limbs one by one, to make him feel pain. It worked James snarled and struggled as Emmett held him down. James was history.

Bella's sobs filled the gaps of silence between James' snarls. I didn't look at her.


	12. Forgiveness

_**Chapter 12- Forgiveness**_

**Wouldn't it be annoying if you couldn't cry but were inside.**

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_BPOV_

Edward looked at me slowly. The pain showed through clearly in his eyes.

"Edward..." I whispered but even i couldn't hear it over James' snarls.

"Bella, Come on we'll take you back home." Alice whispered in my ear not taking her eyes off of Edward. I looked up to her and i saw her pleading expression, another secret i didn't know.

I obeyed her and stood up quickly. Edward's eyes wandered over to the roaring fire behind him. He ran over to the bonfire and turned his back on me.

"Come on Bella." Alice repeated. I nodded and walked away reluctantly. I knew that if they could my tears would be rolling down my cheeks. Every step i took toward the cullen's home i glaneced at Edward who was still staring at the open flames.

When we reached the house I broke down in sobs, to my suprise it wasn't that James had been killed infront of my eyes, it was because i knew that Edward would never forgive me. Alice dragged me up into the house, she set me down onto the sofa.

"Please calm down Bella." She pleaded. Her eyes were full of pity. I didn't respond. Instead I walked alone up to the room I knew more,than my old room in pheonix or my room at Charlies. Edward's.

_EPOV_

"Edward!" Alice called as I entered the house. "Where have you been? The others got back hours ago."

"You of all people should know that Alice." I paused. "The question is would you tell me about it?" I wasn't properly angry at her. I needed someone to take the blame.

"Edward." Esme said as relief washed over her face.

"Where is she?" I asked coldly. "Where's Bella?"

_BPOV_

Hours had passed since James had kissed me. Maybe even a day. I didn't know where Edward was, but I knew that as soon as he was here he would leave again. To get away from me. A louder sob escaped my throat. It wasn't loud enough for me not to hear a door open downstairs.

"Where is she?" His silvery voice sounded pained. "Where's Bella?" His voice was more frantic now.

"Where do you think Edward?" Rosalie answered in the same cold tone. I sobbed louder. a knock fell on the closed door.

"Bella?" He whispered.


	13. Regrets

Chapter 13- Regrets

How's Edward going to react???

R & R again please!!! And I know most of you put me on story alert without reviewing!!!

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**BPOV**

He knocked harder on the door,

"Bella." He said in a normal voice. I sobbed louder trying to block him out I didn't want him to leave me. I heard him open the door but choose to ignore it. He sat down on the chair with me and wrapped his arms around me. I almost jerked away from him to read his expression but leaned on him more I wanted the moment to last forever but I choose to enjoy it while I could. He breathed normally and inhaled my scent. He stroked my hair and I stopped sobbing.

"Bella? He asked softly. "Why?"

"I'm sorry Edward. James was being really hypnotizing, I was distracted…"

"No Bella not that." He said through gritted teeth, "Why would you do… that to a human? Why would you do that to yourself to lower yourself to be the monster that we try to escape being? How could you do that to us?" A shocked expression crossed my features.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"James." He replied with the word that I feared the most right now. I growled refusing to let my fear show.

"Edward I…" I paused looking into his bronze eyes, I dropped my gaze to his hands. I had hurt him so much. I could see that now.

He didn't speak for a while. I didn't look up to him but I knew he was staring at me. I closed my eyes but opened them in time to see him get up.

"Edward…" I pleaded but it sounded weak. He didn't turn around he got to the door before replying.

"I need to think, Bella." He said coldly.

He opened the door and walked out at human speed. I continued to sob uncontrollably.

**CPOV**

"He's been up there for ages." Alice said impatiently not caring if Edward heard her.

"It'll be alright Alice." I said as calmly as I could manage. The truth was I was still worried. "Edward Isn't stupid."

"I know." Alice replied looking down to the floor. She concentrated hard on focusing on the future.

"I need to think, Bella" I heard Edward murmur upstairs, before we heard his footsteps on the stairs. Esme's eyes snapped up to meet mine. I was the first one to speak.

"What happened, Edward?"

"Nothing Carlisle." He replied coldly, in the same tone he had used upstairs.

"What did she say?" Alice blurted out. I looked at her quickly to warn her.

"Leave it Alice." He said angrily. But I knew she wouldn't.

"Are you leaving?" She shouted standing up, I guessed she was trying to get Bella's attention.

"No Alice."


	14. Thoughts

Chapter 14- Thoughts

Edward comes back from thinking.

R & R

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**BPOV**

I heard the door slam but that was hours ago. I didn't know where he was going to think but I knew it wouldn't be the meadow. I didn't even know if he was going to leave me or not. No one had come up to check on me but I knew they probably felt the same about what I had done. Even if they didn't know about me not being a full vegetarian, they would hate me for everything that happened with James. I had to brave the rest of the Cullen's sooner or later, so I choose sooner. I got up and took a deep breath in. I got changed and put on one of Edward's T-Shirts. It smelled of him. The scent was strong and sweet. I inhaled again and opened the door.

"What do you think he'll do?" I heard Rosalie say. I couldn't see her but I guessed she would be smirking.

"Rosalie, don't say it like that." Emmett growled although I don't think he could ever be in a mood with her when Jasper was around.

"What?" She replied, "The worst he's going to do her is dump her."

"He won't." Alice argued.

"Did it say so in your crystal ball?" Rosalie laughed; it sent a shiver down my spine.

"Ha, ha very funny." Alice said coldly. "Seriously, I haven't seen it but I know that no matter what Bella does, Edward won't blame her for it."

"I don't know Alice." Emmett interrupted probably because he felt left out, "You saw how angry he was when he left."

"Are you gonna bet against me?" Alice joked but there was a hint of doubt in her voice.

I stepped slowly on the first stair. I knew that they could hear me if I stepped further but decided it was time to show my face.

"Bella!" Alice called as soon as she heard me. She ran to me and gave me a hug.

"Alice," I managed my voice sounded hoarse.

"He hasn't come back yet." She said letting me go and staring down at her feet.

"Oh Alice." I cried. "It's all my fault, he's not coming back."

"He will, Bella." Alice soothed looking back to me. "Sit down."

"Bella, Edward's crazy 'bout you." Emmett said walking back into the room. "I mean who wouldn't." Emmett winked and Rosalie hit him hard in the stomach in the same second.

"Ow…" Emmett joked before trying to kiss Rosalie. She pushed him away and sat down on the couch opposite us.

"He's coming back." Rosalie attempted to reassure me but it wasn't as truthful as I wanted.

The door opened behind me. Alice turned. I remained facing Rosalie and Emmett they had looked up too. No one spoke for a moment not even Alice which surprised me.

"Bella, can I talk to you?" His soft velvety voice lingered in the air as I responded.

"Sure." I said emotionless. I had to turn to him then and once again his beauty astounded me. He nodded in the direction of the door. I followed him outside and expected him to talk there but he started running so I followed. My eyes didn't focus on where we were headed. I was surprised when he stopped in the middle of nowhere.

"Bella, Why?" He said slowly.

"I don't know." I said looking down holding back sobs.

"What was going on in your head?" He said pulling my face up to look into his eyes.

"Without you I felt reckless. I'm sorry." I pleaded trying to look down but his hands trapped me there staring into his eyes. I was mildly surprised when he pulled me up to him and kissed me. It was long but it seemed rushed.

"Bella, I need a break." He said releasing me.

"We can do that, Edward. Together." I said trying to read his expression.

"No I need a break from you." He said stepping back from me. "Bye Bella."

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OMG!!! If I get enough reviews I'll post more! Your choice???

Disclaimer: Even though Edward, James, Bella, Charlie, Renee, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Jacob, Victoria and others from twilight are awesome. I don't own them so don't blame me if I adapt the story. This is all Stephanie Meyer (The best writer ever)'s stuff!

Go Twilight!!!!!!! And The Host!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	15. Shock, Surprise and Sadness

**Chapter 15- Shock, Surprise and sadness.**

Loads of different POVs and some boasting by Rosalie.

P.S. Thanks for the reviews! But please continue reviewing my stuff

P.P.S Did you like my disclaimer on Chapter 14???

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**BPOV**

My feet remained glued to the spot. I didn't sob or move a muscle. I waited for hours wishing thay he would come back to find me or tell me it was a joke. I needed him in my life and without him my life was meaningless and well... Crap. He was my life. I didn't have my human family to comfort me anymore. I used to have to have the cullen's but after this I doubted their faith in me would remain. I was useless, dirty, a liar and a cheat. I knew that to well.

"Bella?" I heard Alice call.

"Bella? Where are you?" Esme echoed Alice.

"Bella get you're butt over here!" Emmett roared.

"Emmett!" Esme scolded. They ran through the trees toward me. I wanted to curl up in a ball and not be found but i was still frozen.

"Bella!" She said relieved, "Where's Edward?"

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I leaned forward into her arms and sobbed. She stroked my hair and soothed me as the other cullen's disapeared into the forest and back towards home. I noticed when the sun rised the next day that I couldn't stay out here forever and I needed to do something. If Edward came back I'd be okay again. But he said he needed a break from me. Alice looked at me when I had stopped crying.

"What's wrong, Bella, What happened?"

"What's right, Alice?" I said coldly, "He needed a break from me." Alice looked away avoiding my gaze. "What have you seen?" I asked forcefully.

"I..." She paused and smiled, "You'll get back together."

"I can't live without him." I said mainly to myself. I was glad it was only me and Alice in the clearing.

"You can." She said cheerily. "I've seen it."

**Rosalie's POV**

"I told you." I said cheerily. Emmett sat there looking very hot with only his jeans on.

"Edward's gone, Rosalie!" Emmett argued. "He might not come back."

"Come on! He will. She hasn't done anything to bad." I shouted back at him. He was very sexy when he was angry. "Even if he doesn't come back, we'll be made to go find him anyway." He looked at me for a moment, I stared back at him.

"Why do you hate Bella?" He asked annoyingly.

"I don't!" I said trying to sound hurt.

"You do!" He said getting up an sitting down next to me. "Come on why?"

"I don't." I said turning away from him. He pulled me into him and tryed to stop me from struggling.

"Are you jealous?"

"Why would I be jealous?"

"So you are Jealous?"

"Yes I am Jealous that Edward picked Bella and not me!" I said struggling free. He frowned and for a moment I thought he actually believed me. "Joking."

"Good." He said smiling and getting up. "Otherwise I wouldn't be able to do this." He reached for my waist and pulled me into him. He kissed me forcefully and pulled at the buttons on my shirt. He didn't ask about Bella after that. He was... to busy.

**EPOV**

I didn't know what to do. I knew that if Bella was around I would forgive her immediatly but I didn't know if that was the right thing to do. I missed her too much already that it pained me to think about her. It had only been a day ago that I had held her close and said everything would be okay. I wanted to do that now. Have her there and never let her go. I could forgive her. If I tried hard enough.

I stopped running and turned back. I started to run... Home. To Bella.


	16. Memories

**Chapter 16- Memories**

Edward decides that it's too soon to visit Bella and goes to visit Tanya. Oh and by the way we've made up Tanya's power! (She can see into the past)

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**(EPOV)**

The sun was rising and it set a beautiful image across the sky. I stopped running for a moment and sat under a tree. I didn't exactly know what I was doing but a force seemed to be pulling me back. Back from home. I had persuaded myself that going back was the right thing to do but now… I wasn't entirely sure. I needed to make a decision but if I could delay making that decision maybe it'd would be better… in the long run.

I stood up reluctantly and ran in the direction of the person closest to me as a friend. Tanya.

I ran for a while without stopping. The breeze picked up a little as I heard a familiar voice.

"Kate!" Tanya screamed. Ouch. That was gonna hurt in the morning. I couldn't help but smile.

"Tanya." I said in a normal voice, I resisted the urge to shout back. I noticed her for the first time through the trees; she looked around hastily searching for the owner of the voice. She didn't think real worlds but she was scared but still in a daze. I stepped out of the trees and into her view. _Oh its you._ She thought but she didn't really sound pleased to see me.

"Nice to see you too." I said sarcastically. Another trait I picked up from Bella. My smile dimmed a little but returned after I realised who I was talking to.

"Edward!" She ran at human speed and gave me a hug. "That better?" She laughed. "What are you doing here? Wait don't answer that. I'll find out myself!" I couldn't help but search her mind for what she meant but suddenly I was pulled back into a memory.

* Memory*

"_Bella, Why?" I said slowly._

"_I don't know." Bella said looking down holding back sobs._

"_What was going on in your head?" I said pulling her face up to look into my eyes._

"_Without you I felt reckless. I'm sorry." She pleaded trying to look down but my hands trapped her there staring into my eyes. I kissed her. It was long but it seemed rushed._

"_Bella, I need a break." I said releasing her._

"_We can do that, Edward. Together." Bella said trying to read my expression, a confused look appeared upon her face._

"_No I need a break from you." I said stepping back from her. "Bye Bella."_

*End*

Replaying that memory hurt a little and the smile on my face had long disappeared.

"Edward I'm…" She broke off looking into my eyes as if looking into my soul.

*Memory*

"_Hello, Bella," An unforgettable voice said from behind, his shadow crossed hers._

"_James," She snarled turning to face him. His face had changed. It was to her soft and gentle. He wasn't crouching to kill her, he just stood there looking at her. He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, and rested his hand on her cheek and cupped her face. "I like the new, improved Bella." He smiled confidently. She looked down at his hands but did not flinch away from them, as she would have a month ago. She looked up to his lips expectantly that were set in a confident smile. She looked up to his golden eyes._

_They drew her in somehow. She stepped forward. She put her arm around his waist. His smile grew wider. She leaned in closer to him. He leaned in too. She started smiling as her lips met his. He was the one to pull away. The next kiss didn't last as long but looked just as passionate. _

"_I'm sorry, Bella." He whispered. Shock ran through her body. She stepped away from him. He grabbed her hand and held it in both of his. "I shouldn't have turned you into a vampire like that."_

"_What?" She whispered. It was confusing, why was James apologising?_

"_When I first met you, I wanted to kill you." He paused. "Now I want to spend my entire life with you."_

*End*

This time it hurt a lot. And coming from a vampire that's something. Tanya just stared at me apologetically. I looked down ashamed and embarrassed. Her hands were clenched into fists.

"What happened?" Tanya spoke politely.

"Can't you find that out for yourself?" My voice was hard and emotionless.

"Do you want me to?" All politeness had gone.

"You didn't need my vote last time." I said in the same hard tone. She ran forward, vampire speed, and lightly touched my arm.

"Edward, I didn't think. I'm sorry."

"We killed James."

She flinched before talking, "What happened with Bella?"

Now I flinched, "That's why I'm here. I need your advice."


	17. Unfaithful

**Chapter 17- Unfaithful**

Edward tells Tanya everything and something comes unexpected.

Okay, I know you'll all hate me after reading this chapter and say stuff like Edward wouldn't do that but please don't shoot the messenger!

R &R x

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**(EPOV)**

Her eyes were wide as I told her about Bella and the decision I had to make. The decision we had to make.

"So you have to decide if you still love Bella." Tanya asked slowly.

"No, I know I still love her." I said in the same hard tone I'd used earlier. "I need to know if I can still trust her."

"Can you?"

"If I'd known that I wouldn't be here now would I?"

"Guess not…" Tanya trailed off grabbing my hand she pulled me along. "Come on. Your having a break right? Well I want to show you something!" Sometimes Tanya reminded me of Alice.

"Okay…" I said suspiciously as she started to run. I wasn't scared for the same reason but yeah I was definitely scared about where she was leading me. "Where are you taking me?"

"Somewhere." She answered mysteriously.

"Come on." I persisted. I took in my surroundings. We were heading back into the forest. "Seriously Tan, where are we going?"

"My most favourite place in the world." She smiled and pulled me harder. She stopped suddenly at the trees.

"Where is it?" I asked.

"Over here." She said pushing back some trees. A stream ran through the middle.

"Wow." I said slowly.

"I know." She agreed.

**(TPOV)**

"It's my little place where I can get away from everyone." I sighed.

"Well it can be our little place." He grinned before realising what he had just said. "Tanya…" I stepped closer looking up at him expectantly.

"Edward…"

"No Tan." He said looking away. "We're friends. That's it. Nothing more. I love Bella." He flinched at the last word. So did I.

"She cheated on you. She used you. Why can't you see that." The words seemed rather harsh as they escaped my lips.

"We can't." He dismissed. At that moment I did something stupid.

I threw myself at him before he had time to react. Pushing hard, my lips found his. My stupidity had worked and oh boy did it work well…

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Sorry, Had to happen!!!


	18. Mistakes and Arguements

**Chapter 18- Mistakes and Arguements**

Lying on Tanya's bed with her in his arms, Edward realises that he has made a big mistake. R & R peoples!!!

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**(EPOV)**

We lay still, embarrassed to move. Oh hell. What had I just done? I felt like I had just had f***ing had sex with my own sister. My arms wrapped protectively around her, they had been for some time now. I moved them quickly and started to stand up.

"What's wrong?" Tanya panicked, covering herself up. Damn Tanya wasn't bad. _Get that thought out of your head. _I thought internally before her thoughts reached me. _He can't leave. He can't leave me for her. Not after what she did. I won't let him go. Again. _Too late. Her thoughts hit me like a whirlwind. Ouch that hurt. I started to gather my clothes, without facing her. I dressed quickly.

"Tan… I…" I started.

"What Edward? Your just gonna leave. Why don't you just go?" She said angrily.

"Fine," I said coldly, starting to walk to the door. I glanced again for a final time.

"Try not to rip my heart out on the way out." She mumbled sadly. "Oops too late."

I must admit. I didn't want to leave. She had given me no choice. I didn't regret last night but I didn't want to repeat it. One name popped into my head instantly. Bella.

I ran faster, harder than I ever had before. I arrived back at the house in a matter of hours. And then I heard the shouting. Bella's angry voice echoed around me choking me with her words.

"Why? Alice he wouldn't do that? Why make up something like that?" Bella screeched, I stopped running and listened.

"Bella I'm not joking!" Her unnecessarily angry voice filled the air. "I saw it. I'm sorry but it's true."

And then… Silence.

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R & R x


	19. Truth or lies

Chapter 19- Truth or Lies

The conversation continues between Bella and Alice

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**(BPOV)**

Thoughts raced through my mind. He couldn't have. He wouldn't.

"Alice," I tried to be calm. "He wouldn't. Would he?" I said it out loud but directed at myself.

"Bella, I think you should just ask him yourself." Alice said quietly.

"How can I? He's not here he's with her." I said it so coldly but growled the last word. Alice looked down nervously, but looked out the window slowly. I followed her gaze cautiously, not knowing what to expect.

He stood frozen. I wished I could hear his thoughts or him mine. I half expected him to be with Tanya. But surprisingly my assumptions were wrong. I just hoped Alice's accusations were too.

**(EPOV)**

_Edward how could you! _Alice screamed in her thoughts, she knew how much pain it caused, _WHY? Tell me one good reason? If you wanted Tanya you could have done that years ago. Or did you do this as some sick revenge?_ I realised that both of them were watching me. I met Bella's gaze. She didn't look away but there was no life behind the mask that hid her emotions. I looked down for a split second and back up to her face. She mouthed the one word that brought back the memories of my mistake but also hers. _Why?_

**(BPOV)**

I covered my face with my hands. And started up the stairs running. Vampire Speed. He couldn't answer the one simple question that burned inside of me. I found his room and slammed the door shutting me inside. Away from the pain of the outside world.

"Bella!" A velvet but not so angelic voice shouted, "We need to talk."

"No shit, Sherlock." I murmured in between tearless sobs.

"Bella please." His voice was strained as he pleaded. "I'm not going anywhere, until we talk."

"There's a bloody window in here Edward. I can get out anytime I want to." I screamed all calmness was thrown out the window.

"But you've never wanted to leave me Bella."

**(EPOV)**

"Well things change Edward." Her voice was cold and unfamiliar.

"Bella…" I paused. "I'm sorry. I'll do anything to prove that."

"Fine." I heard her footsteps and amazingly she opened the door. "Then tell me something Edward, Why?" She ushered me inside and sat in the corner knees to her chest. I shut the door, even though it wouldn't make a difference. Old habits die hard. "Why Edward?" She repeated her voice didn't change. Still cold.

"I don't know." I murmured.

"So you just slept with her for fun? To get revenge? Just to hurt me? Tell me why Edward?" Her voice was angry she stood up shaking with anger.

"Do you know what Bella? I'm sick of you being so hypocritical." My voice was now harsh and as angry as hers. "You want to know why I did it? Why did you?" Her was shocked but still angry.

"I was so confused… without you." She cringed at the memory.

"So your blaming it all on me?" I questioned.

"Yes. It's your entire fault. You made me do it." Her famous sarcastic side showed.

**(BPOV)**

"Do you still love me?" Edward asked quickly.

"What sort of a question is that?" I asked.

"One that I want you to answer."

"Why? You first…" I was scared. A part of me didn't want to hear the answer.

"Bella I love you more than life itself. No matter what happens." He said passionately and took a step closer his hand found mine. I looked up into his eyes and somehow he knew I felt the same.

So we tried again to continue the rest of our forever starting with a kiss.


	20. Life After Death

**Chapter 20- Life after death**

Bella and Edward start over, forgetting their mistakes. Well Bella's anyway...

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**(BPOV)**

We were starting again. Me and Edward together. We were like love struck teenagers. We were always together. We stayed not moving for days just hugging eachother. Even Emmett couldn't seperate us.

"Bella?" Alice whispered as I laid down with my eyes closed. "Bella?"

"What alice?" I asked dreamily.I was thinking about him again.

"Edward has gone to hunt."

"What?!" I demanded. I thought he was beside me.

"Bella you can't be joined at the hip for the rest of your life." She argued. Okay I guess she had a point.

"Okay..." I gave up. I stood up slowly. "I'm gonna go for a walk."

"Yer, I guess." She sighed. I grabbed my Ipod off the side and placed the headphones in my ear.

The day was cold even for Forks. The sky was grey as usual but at least it wasn't raining. I looked around before darting into the trees. "Gives you Hell" by "The All American Rejects" played. I sung the lyrics out loud.

"I wake up every evening  
With a big smile on my face  
And it never feels out of place.  
And you're still probably working  
At a 9 to 5 pace  
I wonder how bad that tastes

When you see my face  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell

Now where's your picket fence love  
And where's that shiny car  
Did it ever get you far?  
You never seem so tense, love  
Never seen you fall so hard  
Do you know where you are?

Truth be told I miss you  
Truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell  
If you find a man thats worth the damn and treats you well  
Then he's a fool you're just as well hope it gives you hell  
Hope it gives you hell  
[Gives You Hell Lyrics On .com/ ]  
Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself  
Where did it all go wrong?  
But the list goes on and on

Truth be told I miss you  
Truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell  
If you find a man that's worth the damn and treats you well  
Then he's a fool you're just as well hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see  
What you've done to me  
You can take back your memories  
They're no good to me  
And here's all your lies  
If you look me in the eyes  
With the sad, sad look  
That you wear so well

When you see my face  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell  
When you walk my way  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell  
If you find a man that's worth the damn and treats you well  
Then he's a fool you're just as well hope it gives you hell

When you see my face  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell (hope it gives you hell)  
When you walk my way  
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell (hope it gives you hell)  
When you hear this song and you sing along well you'll never tell  
And you're the fool I've just as well I hope it gives you hell  
When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell  
You can sing along I hope that it puts you through hell**." (A.N. That song is dedicated to Tilz)**

I sat down by a tree, just inside the wood. I looked down at the ipod screen. The next song flashed on. "Dirty Little Secret" by "The All American Rejects" started.

"Hello Bella." A voice came from behind. I turned quickly. Stepping into a crouch. "Easy Tiger." Tanya stepped in front of me. Her face was twisted into a smirk. A growl escaped my throat.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed menacingly.

"Leave him alone!" She argued back matching my crouch.

"I've got the perfect song for you."

"What's that?"

"Dirty little secret!" I smirked back. Her eyes narrowed.

"Don't make me do something you'll regret." She emphiciased the you part. I narrowed my eyes at her. I wasn't afraid of her.

"Get over it Tanya, It was just a fling. He choose me." I taunted her.

"Oh yeah? Where did you think he has been all today?"

And that's when it happened...

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Okay you know I dedicated that song to tilz? Well you guys can ask me to do that for you too or even advertise your stories. Just get 5 people to read and review anything by me or SuperSOFTies and email me at .uk with your name and what you need me to do, the story you want to advertise on, give me ideas, stuff like that and then I'll email you with the details!!!

Happy advertising! Nat x


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